The interview with Bang really got me thinking about my entrance into the corporate world. Coupled with my current thoughts is also the reality that the carefree life of a student will end in exactly 2 months from now.

I need to realise what I want, soon.

Having the Interviewers believe that i am adventurous and up for any challenge is fast becoming a cliche statement. Though I really am up to any challenge.

And how much do I believe that, "The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society" ? 

The glim and glamour of Public Relations. I wonder. 

我终於到达　但却更悲伤...

So it's been awhile.

Maybe i could have revive my mouldy journal some 10 months ago but somehow i totally stopped writing my own space. I see that as a preoccupation with the new founds in life.

Suffered the anguish, the pain inflicted upon, the grotesque state of a minced heart which the pernicious love god brought.
But it's refreshing to know the labyrinthine of emotions has ceased. I've forged ahead.

As with all things, within me harbours occasional skepticism about almost everything. If Love always wins, I have never reached that peak in the past 22years.

But for a long while now, I am happy.

...Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out ...               
                           
                                           -Oasis : Stop crying your heart out

Being Shamelessly desperate is too trivial to describe the art of the heart.

The refusal to acknowledge the end.
The resistance to new beginnings.

I sigh at the very thought of this nothingness.

Day 48. Why?

Very beautifully written lyrics and as much as I cannot accurately articulate the words, reading the translation is itself already so touching!

Someone please propose to me with his next concert tickets!

The heart knows that whatever happiness seen actually makes it more than a feat to give a convincing response to anyone. This is happiness out of emptiness and many times, it has been wished that the made up reality could be done away with. Internally, the bleeding is screaming for attention. Yet, nursing this is the very last agenda every night. Call it an escapism but facing the world with this truest self puts vulnerability closer at sight. Puts the pain into perspective. Cry me a river.

I fucked up so badly in the past 2 years and there were times I'd thought that the improvements, changes and compromise made were enough to make this hopefulness in me flicker once more. Did I really dream all this up?

Ever since, i've been reminded relentlessly that what we shared was never strong enough to put us through anything, lest the 3.5months. Mainly, you made me realised that the faith I held for us circled in a delusional reality.

I miss you.
And Im pretty sure Im not dreaming about this.

付出的愛收不回　還欠妳的我不能給
別把我心也帶走去跟隨 
                                             - 王力宏

Scoldings.
Heartaches.

Recipe for distress.

I learnt about this musical from Kwan and I am itching to go.

Anyone? Someone?

As Jared walked through the gate brimming with so much happiness and looking all ready for this new phase of his life for the next semester, it reminded me of my very own experiences 4 months back albeit a feeling very much contrasting to his.  When i bid my goodbyes for SEP to maple leaf country, the image of my departure at T1 is still very vivid. The tears dropped at every hug I gave was certainly a moment i had often thought about in times of nostalgia when I was in Canada. Even now that I am back( fast enough!) , I still reminiscence about that moment of parting,departure,separation and termination of what I silently abhor. The expiry of what was manufactured for almost as long as my undergraduate life was at that point in time.

Some tears, I'd thought I'll come back for more, happier ones of course. Others, I'm glad their constancy hadn't change.

And I haven't really thought about the generic answer for the question, 'How was SEP? '

I think it must be really abnormal that my reply deviate not very far away from the atypical reply, ' I've yet to think about it.'

Have I allowed myself to gain as much as I have lost? In all aspects, in all honesty.

Gossip Girls keep me sane.Im almost half done with the episodes(online TV rocks my world!) though my parents think im wasting their electricity bills by staying up all night to watch 'em. Perhaps, it really is hard for them to understand what's really going on with me and my screwed up clock, or so I told them to be. I wish i knew a way around it.

My amigos or better known as The 7 Spice Girls keep me even more sane! Chilli, Nutmeg, Garlic, Pepper, Sesame, Cinnamon and... oh  i forgot the last one! Help!

On another note, i thought it'll be a brilliant  idea in silencing this space.
Wordpress or back to basics? Or another LJ?

The latter sounds like a perfecto but it also means lots of exploration and playtime with technology for a technophobic goddess.

The layer of dust which has found its way on my NM notes from 2 semesters ago, the books stacked at the corners of my desk was collecting mould and the random loose pieces of earrings i left on the table from the many late nights out and i never bothered to put them back to where they belong; all of them reminded me how time has by passed me so quickly in the past half  year.

Wiping them away to start a new slate for the coming semester was imperative, and it was exactly what i thought many things in my life should be. But I just tricked myself into a whole new level of pain when i opened the biggest birthday card which was standing beside my NM notes.

It was, the most painful moment i've felt ever since a month ago.

Fill this void of mine, won't you?

Adding on to my collection of duet!

KTV always has this effect on me, they make you feel alive again with oldies.

I AM SO IRRITATED WITH freakin NS!!How badly can anyone haunt you from the other hemisphere? Seriously.
I think he has got to be the most annoying human being alive.

is the omission of truth a form of lie?

and if it isn't, what am i suppose to feel.

why does this have to hurt so much?

When a part of something goes, when that assurance has ceased on its own; I am reminded of my over dependence of the transitory things of life.

We cry, We laugh , We cry and then We smile.

But, a chain is no stronger than its weakest link.

you know that best friend of mine, she has the most unique way to comfort me. Here is an email extract from the women i will love forever, besides my mother.

"Well, yes, we had a shit year but after reading some financial reports, i think we are in for more shit and you, if u r graduating next yr, it is really bad news. I am somehow always the bad news breaker. If u are not updated, oil is ard 90+ per barrel. It is estimated that by Q2 2008, oil might go up to 120 per barrel and USA has plan of attacking middle east for oil when oil reaches certain price. That would be all hell break loose! China will attack taiwan, N.korea will attack S.korea cos they do not have a nosey superpower to poke its nose into their problems...the whole world will go mad. Not to mention, people predict that we have to go into essential living = no luxurious items. Cars can only be on the road at certain hours, factory can only operate at certain hours, all due to limited resources. Geez, and i tot that there are other oil fields in the world but hey, extracting oil from canada would be too expensive, in other words, it will take 10 barrels of oil to extract 5 barrels of oil so it totally doesnt make sense to do so. Gosh!!! Scared yet? Your problem looks minute suddenly? "

For someone who has been bawling from dawn to dusk and then to open her gmail to this 'email of comfort', i could not help but laugh so hard!

No matter how bad our lives have been this year, 2007 is ending in 13 days.I am coming back in 20days to reunite with ya in love and bitch about the backyard stories of our lives.

Panties! I've been trying to fine the answer as to whether  love is measurable but screw it then, my love for you is beyond the measuring tape la. Grow old with me, cos only you can be my constant. 

Does anyone believe in second chances?
Do second chances exists?

Friday: 2 centimetres to be rapped by a rugrat in the subway station.Traumatized with a capital T. Jackanape he is.You do not fuck around with someone who can babysit you.
Saturday : rolling it up for momentary happiness. you can run, but you can't hide.
Sunday wee hours: a paralyzing butt dive into the oh-what-seem-like-pristine snow

**More of it at Molly's tomorrow
More cos 'get room **4 wasted' session is on Tuesday.

Things done for momentary happiness-- sins and sinners.bastards and alcoholics.flings and bitches.fuck and throws.weed and ciggs.
'twas too harsh baby, too harsh.
Life cannot be more wonderful on the last week of exchange.
Life can only get better.

**More of it at Molly's tomorrow
More cos 'get room **4 wasted' session is on Tuesday.

and you know what?
lovers are 2 drunk people who have nothing better to do than to lie to themselves.
hur hur.

**More of it at Molly's tomorrow
More cos 'get room **4 wasted' session is on Tuesday.